Gentle Recovery

Healing From Child Abuse & Rape

Healing Journey

When We Know Better

Posted by gentlerecovery on August 1, 2011 at 1:41 PM

When we  know better we do better. Maya Angelou

     I have dreams...goals... desires. I want to make a difference.....shine a light....show hope...


     For a long time I couldn't.....I hid what happened....I didn't want anyone to know....I ran scared....living in shame....afraid for anyone to look in my eyes....I knew if they did....they'd know the truth. And they'd believe what I knew...that what happened was my fault....that there was something inherently wrong with me for it to even have happened at all. 

     I believed those lies for a long time....letting them keep me living less than my best.  At my lowest....when I couldn't hold on anymore.....He touched me....broke through the shame....and amazingly.....began to turn everything around. It didn't come easy. I struggled against the 'truth.' I couldn't accept that it wasn't my fault.  


     I don't know why I believed that....but the lie was the cement that kept me down....that kept me running scared...that pushed me close to the line of death not once....but many times. Lies. I trusted in them and they almost killed me.


     The squeeze of darkness soured my life....and created a bottomless void of always wanting and never being able to fill its gnawing hunger that constantly growled its emptiness.  I thought it would win....I thought there was no way I could ever get free. The hold it had kept me down....kept me defeated...

.

     But His love made the difference....it cut through the darkness....It won the battle. The things that happened are become dimmer...And His truth is shining brighter. Love made a difference....His love.....and it still does. Love that trumps everything else.....


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4 Comments

Reply Peggy
11:35 PM on August 24, 2011 
I can relate to thinking for a long time it was my fault and His love made all the difference for me, too. He is making something beautiful from my life that was such a mess.
Reply Hazel Moon
4:30 PM on October 10, 2011 
When bad things happen to us, we hear the hiss and whispers of. "This is your fault, You are not worth anything, You are bad" and a multitude of other lies hitting you face on. Finding a quiet place if you can go back in time and take another look, as you pray and ask Jesus to reveal his truth to you. Listen again and let Jesus speak to you. Hear what He tells you and you will find complete healing. His words are kind, loving, and He is the Truth and the Life.
Reply Rpbert Moon
6:41 PM on December 15, 2011 
Praise God that he follows into the darkness and rescues us into His Light!
Reply angela
10:44 PM on October 31, 2013 
Real life has always been this kind, there are always too many joys and sorrows of life!

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